Wind-Up Castle Of Wonders: Self Discovery

Its kind of funny. My strong, uncanny hatred and repulsion I have felt towards the outsiders and their way of living (people that aren't me, lol) is beginning to transform into a beautiful selfless desire to be apart of their world. Not only become a part of it, but contribute to it. I want that to be where I find my most inner happiness and accomplishment..the key to my personal gratification and satisfaction with the life I have chose to live while I was here on Earth. The fact that I had become the person I wanted to see in my world is the most rewarding and satisfying feeling I could ever achieve. I could honestly die happy & proud.

My problem is that my perspective, what I feel like I need/want, and/or just merely my opinion on your decision that you made to limit our friendship to phone and internet is that your decision doesn't include my POV which I find immoral and I feel betrayed, forgotten, and sincerely unimportant as your friend. Do I have valid reasons to feel the way I do? Does you know that your decision to not see me in person is (to me) an infallibly friendship? Are you saying that you are staying friends with me because of some other reason other than our commitment to be friends forever? Do I misunderstand or maybe not even know your true values are in life? Did that part of you change as well? If it did, I was not aware. The reasons why do not matter in the grand scheme of things because the truth is I've been blind sighted this entire time until right at this moment. I never have acknowledged the idea that your values or morals could apart of your dramatic change in yourself (after co